Sometimes I look down at my dog pulling me down the street and think, “Who’s walking who?” Honestly, I can almost hear him saying, “Lady, I got this. Stop trying to control everything!” And you know what? He wouldn’t be wrong.

I’m a first-born Virgo, and if you believe in such things, you already know that letting go doesn’t come naturally. When people say, “Ah, that makes sense—you’re a Virgo,” I just laugh and say, “Nope, recovering Virgo!”

It’s one thing to want control over where a painting goes in my house—that’s fair game. But when it comes to people, trying to manage every little thing isn’t just exhausting, it’s ineffective. If I’ve hired talented, creative, driven teammates (and I have), why would I need to direct every step they take? If I do feel the need to, maybe the issue isn’t them—it’s how I’m showing up as a leader.

Here’s what I’ve learned over time—and yes, the lessons started on a walk, leash in hand.

🧠 1. I Reframed Control as Trust

Old mindset: “If I don’t manage it, it might fall apart.”
New mindset: “If I never let go, how will they grow?”

I had to shift from perfectionism to partnership. Letting go isn’t lowering standards—it’s creating space for others to lead.

🛠️ 2. I Moved from Doing to Designing

Now I ask myself:

• “Am I doing this because it’s truly mine to do… or because it’s easier than coaching someone through it?”
• “What structure or clarity could I give so this runs without me?”

I’ve learned to lead the system, not the steps.

📈 3. I Started Delegating for Development

It’s not just about getting things off my plate—it’s about putting people in position to own something.

Instead of saying, “Here’s how to do it,” I say, “You’re in charge of this. I’m here if you need me.”
I’ve shifted from step-by-step to setting vision and trusting their path.

💬 4. I Invited Feedback (Even the Hard Stuff)

Let’s be real—control often comes from fear. Fear of chaos. Of disappointment. Of things not being just so.

So I started asking my team:

• “Where do I need to back off?”
• “Where do you need more room to lead?”

That simple shift builds trust—and keeps my inner perfectionist in check.

🧘‍♀️ 5. I Practiced Grace in the Grey

Everything doesn’t have to be flawless to be effective.
Sometimes I let things be a little messy. I let others try and stumble, and find their way. And I let myself rest. Because when I’ve done the work of building smart systems and hiring good people, I can trust the process—and them.

So to all my fellow first-born Virgo executives (and all of you who lead with structure, excellence, and a strong sense of responsibility), here’s my nudge:

You can still be excellent without controlling everything.

Letting go doesn't mean letting standards slip. It means leading from a place of trust, clarity, and peace. And if you’re not ready to hand over a big project just yet... start with your dog. You might just discover a new path.